A long year

I always open my blog with the notion that "today is gonna be the day" I write my next blog post. I've been a writer my entire life. At times its been the only way I could express myself yet when it comes to blogging it just doesn't seem natural to me. Maybe I am more of a secret-journal type of gal and just can't write as freely on the internet as I could in a notebook that could easily be tucked into a drawer or some other secret hiding place. I'm giving it another shot though. My life has new perspective and I'm willing to see how this goes.

I'm not in the same place I was a year ago. It's been a long, eventful year with lots of ups and even more downs. The downs really got me down and I've worked hard to resume my happy place. It's a different happy place, one that I've been longing to get to. I'm finally worrying about me. As they say "I'm gonna do me for awhile"......hmmm, okay. Doing "me" consists of finding more time to enjoy the things I've stopped enjoying. It also means putting myself first for awhile becuase I've learned I'll be healthier that way. If I put myself first then I'll be better equipped to take care of my family. Selfish, it sounds, but it's not that way at all.

In the past year, I've gotten serious about photography in a way that I only dreamed I could. I don't know that I see myself as a future small business owner, but I'm enjoying the people I've met and experiences I've shared along the way. Personal growth is so important to me and I've been quite stifled for while. True, I've been busy having babies but that's different. I'm growing and that's all that counts for now. I don't just enjoy taking pictures like most people with cameras. My spot behind enables me to see things the way I want to. It's my perspective and no one else's. I am a very private person and the camera acts as my sheild.

I'm going to lose weight this year. I'll admit it.......I'm fat and never used to be. This has been a source or major depression for me that, for too long, spiraled out of control. It's victimized me, paralyzed me, embarrassed me and compromised my health. My children deserve a happy, healthy and active mom and I'm going to give them that no matter what it takes. Richard has worked hard to set up my work out room and I'm proud to say I'm working out every day. I don't expect to lose 40 lbs overnight, but I'm happy every day knowing I'm working toward a goal of becoming more healthy. My only concern is getting Ricahrd on board with a new lifestyle. He's pretty comfortable doing what he's doing for now. In time I hope my progress will be motivation for him.

I'm couponing!!! This is great. I've felt for so long that saving money was too overwhelming and I would eventually commit myself to the extreme measures some people take to save a buck. Now the kids a more self sufficient and I am able to carve out some more time to devote to this "sport". Yes, saving money is a sport. I am now getting the Sunday paper with the ad inserts for a dirt cheap price, am subscribed to all the best couponing sites, use ebates whenever I can, and have started shopping multiple stores. This is all part of my money saving plan in 2011. My coupon box is brimming with all sorts of coupons for things I need!!! This is a great feeling gang.

The babies........I'll save that for another day. They are so amazing it's indescribable. When it comes to them I'm a walking Hallmark card.